Print Something Today...You'll Save the World!

Ya know... I love trees. Trees are marvelous creatures. Their arms stretch out over the Earth giving it a GIANT hug. I love trees. Their breeze blows gentle kisses against my face. I love trees.

Trees were put here for a reason. Trees are here for us to use. (and responsibly)

Now for a Monkey Sense moment.  :P

The other day at an office retirement party we had delicious goodies...beautiful and delicious chocolate covered strawberries and scrumptious chocolate cookies. We also had little paper napkins and paper dessert plates. I would have taken a picture BUT we ate it all. Hey. It was GOOD!

As I was getting my goodies, I noticed someone (let's call her TH -- short for Tree Hugger) just had a napkin. I asked if TH need a plate (these strawberries were HUGE) to which she replied, "No, I want to conserve paper."   HUH?!  I quickly responded, "But hell, the tree is already dead." 

She didn't like that.  :D

So, a couple of days later I'm printing 10 copies of a 20-page document for a meeting. There appears to be a line at the printer because of me. :) My document got ahead of something TH was printing. Ooooopsie! She had to comment about the copies I was printing...those poor trees... I think she was joking but she was also half serious, too.

Well, my monkey sense just couldn't let it pass. I politely explained (and with a BIG cheeky grin) that I was doing my part for the economy which totally knocked TH back. I continued to explain how I  >> ME << was saving the world. See...

Job #1:  A lumberjack goes out to the woods to chop down a tree.

Job #2:  A trucker then loads up the tree to haul it to the lumber yard.

Job #3:  A worker cuts up that tree for pulp to make paper.

Job #4:  Another worker takes the pulp and turns it into paper.

Job #5:  Let's not forget about the packaging...someone's got to make it!

Job #6:  A trucker takes the paper to the store to sell.

Job #7:  A high schooler unloads the paper and stocks the shelves at the store.

Job #8:  A clerk sells ME the paper that I buy with MY money.

In the meantime,

Job #9:  A gardener plants a NEW tree and it is nurtured and pampered to grow.

Job #10:  A forester watches over tress to protect them from fire and insects.

And then process starts all over again. Joy!


I tried to explain this on a piece of paper but I ran out of room and out of paper!!

BUT...I have left out LOTS of other people. There's the assistants, laborers, executives, salesmen, gas station attendants, nursery workers, janitors, and lots more...EVEN illegal aliens!!
...

Now this is JUST the cycle for a damn sheet paper I print on. I haven't even scratched the surface for the freaking cycles for the PRINTER and the damn INK! What about the recycling part?! You know there's a damn cycle for the recycling leg of this monstrosity. Now this has become GLOBAL over one lousy sheet of stupid paper. Think about all the starving children in Asia I'm helping by printing AND using paper plates. I should win some Nobel prize or hell, even become President of the New World Order. I'm saving the EFFING PLANET HERE!!!

IMAGINE.  ::cue daydream music::

See...just by printing a document or using a paper plate or paper napkin, I touched the lives of millions of people, saved the rain forests and stimulated global economies.

Makes total sense to me. TH couldn't argue one single point! bwahahahaahaa!

Now...go do your part to save the world. Print something, dammit!! Print today's blog!