How To Take Bad Graduation Pictures

It was an exciting and wonderful weekend. Besides being Mother's Day weekend, it was college graduation weekend. A weekend filled with LOTS of picture opportunities to record such a momentous occasion... snapping pictures. What better gift could a son give his mom than graduating from college Magna Cum Laude (and only 0.01 points from being Summa Cum Laude)? Maybe a better camera? Photography lessons?

Why do you think a mother would need such gifts, you ask? (trust me, you better ask.) Maybe it's because EVERY single picture I took as the proud momma SUCKED!!!!! Not just bad. Not just terrible. But ABSOLUTELY HORRID!!!!! It wasn't that we were too close to the stage. It wasn't that the subject matter was yucky (quite the contrary.) It was just I took horrible pictures.

We got lucky and sat two rows from the graduates on the aisle. The aisle that the graduates just happen to walk down in the beginning. YAY! I'll get a good picture of my son coming into the auditorium. Here he comes!!

Yep. That didn't happen. It looks like a scene from some zombie movie. Love all the red eyes.
His grandmother even tried the same shot...

She's not doing much better.

OK...so no flash is a bad idea. Let me turn on the flash and get him going to his seat.

damn. Nothing like the back of somebody's pasty white head. chit. Back off goes the flash.

Here's my darling son getting ready to have his name called to be hooded. Can't you see him standing in the doorway there?!

Here he is getting hooded. Not only could I not take a picture...MY  MOM couldn't take a picture. Guess it was a case of "like mother; like daughter." ugh.

 

Then he got his diploma from the Chairman of the Board of Regents. Lovely man. I MUST get a picture of my son getting his diploma. He's worked SO hard for it.

CHIT. Can't he be still!?!?!? Now, I know I can get a picture of him walking off stage with his diploma. I must capture the moment!

What gives!?!?!? I'm a good photographer. HONEST!!! OK...now, I must get ready. He'll be coming back down the aisle with his diploma. Here's my chance to redeem myself!!! Get ready... Set.... SNAP!!!

Hells Bells!!!! WTF!!! My darling son even stopped RIGHT.BY.MY.SEAT for me to get a picture of him with is diploma. MY SON that just graduated!! The son I adore and am SOOOO proud of stopped by my seat so I could capture this proud moment and get a FANTASTIC picture. ...Say cheese!!

Insert MULTIPLE expletive deleteds here. DAMMIT!!!!!!!!

Well, I'll just have to get him AFTER the ceremony. No problem. I can get his picture then.

I swear! I'm getting a complex now. I need a quicker trigger finger!!

THAT'S IT!!! I QUIT!!!! My last resort is to make him pose so his proud mother can have JUST ONE good picture.

HALLELUJAH!!!!!!!!! I DID IT!!!! And DAMN it's good!!!! It's not official until you have taking a picture to record momentous occasions like this. And finally, it's official. He graduated and I am so proud of him.